You Heard It Here First

Piercings are one of those things in which there’s a fine line between classy and trashy. While I do understand that people shouldn’t be judged by their appearances, we all know that everyone makes their first impressions about a person based on what they look like and how they act.

If you’ve ever been outside the comfort of your home you’ve probably seen all kinds of piercings on just about every part of people’s bodies. I’m not judging anyone who might be reading this blog and has an, ahem, not so common piercing, but it just continues to fascinate me how far some people are willing to go. Ear piercings I understand. Most girls and a good amount of guys have their ears pierced nowadays, and in many cultures it’s tradition to get a female baby’s ears pierced soon after they’re born. Bellybutton and nose piercings are pretty popular too. But other things I just can’t understand

For example, getting your hip pierced. Yes, this is an actual thing that people do. Why would you want a little metal pin in your hip? You couldn’t wait for the hip replacement you’re going to need in 50 years? Even more… interesting (I’m trying not to judge people. I’m really trying.)… are elbow piercings. Yes, it’s happening people, and remember- you heard it here first. Elbow. Piercings. I would just like to know how this happens. Does the piercing hit your funny bone? Is it like having the reaction to a funny bone, but 24/7? Because let’s be honest, that would be pretty damn hilarious.

Another weird place people get pierced is on their fingers. Or specifically, through their fingers. First off, that sounds really fucking painful. Second, WHY? Why in hell do you need a rod going through the tip of your phalanges? You don’t. You really don’t at all. Do people with these outrageous piercings actually get jobs? I can totally imaging them going in for job interviews, doing really well, getting the job, and about to sign a job contract when… BOOM! Mr. Boss sees their finger piercings as they’re signing on the dotted line, and no more employment for you buster.

One of the most useful piercings I’ve seen is in between your eyes. A random stud, right above your nose. Now this one I can actually see the benefit in. Just imagine this situation: you have terrible eyes, but your nose is too damn low to support glasses. No worries! Just get a piercing higher above your nose, and voila! Problem solved. See? Not all unusual piercings are bad. Just most of them are.

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