Excuse Me For Being Thrifty

         Change is such a surprising thing. One instant, you have no cash, and five minutes and a quick under-the-couch-cushions-check later you're $1.50 richer. It's like magic. As children, we all had our change jars or piggy banks that we filled up with our parents' spare nickels and pennies, or, more often, buttons and pieces of string. The point is, after filling up our magic cash boxes to the brim we'd eventually open them and let all the change spill out, and get all excited about how much money (and other random treasures) we'd saved up. And, yeah, a quick run to the bank would show that in reality the amount we had saved was closer to $30 then the $300 you were imagining, but still. 

         The unfortunate truth of life is that it's so much easier for younger kids to collect cash. Nowadays, if you're older then the age of eight, and you try to pick up a quarter from the sidewalk you'll get dirty looks from mothers who probably think their own sticky-fingered child is more entitled to the twenty-five cents in your hand than you are. Like excuse me for being thrifty, times are tough. Bitch. Regardless of what the damn sidewalk mothers think, I would advise all you streetwalkers out there to continue to be your money-loving selves. Keep scanning the pavements for whatever change you can scrounge up, and throw it into your change jar- whether it be labeled "Shoe Savings" "Beer Money" or "Car Cash". It's most likely to be the third one, seeing as if you're collecting change off the sidewalk you're most likely a pedestrian and don't have a car. But hell, whatever floats your money boat I guess.

         One of the biggest fun-ruiners nowadays is the automatic cash counter. If you, like me, are a fellow informercial watcher, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Lately they've been marketing a change-counting money jar that counts your money as you put it in. Some might say that this is a very useful invention, and it'll be so time-saving and blah blah blah. No. Why on earth would you want to know how much cash you've saved up? WHY?! That defeats the entire damn purpose. Where's the fun in that? Trick question. There isn't any. The whole point of having a piggy bank in the first place is so that you can be thrilled and excited when you find out how much money is in there at the end. Not so you can see your money steadily increasing- that just promotes greed. Inventions like these are probably the reason we're going through such an economic recession right now. I blame the automatic cash counter. 

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