I Love You A Latte

            The holiday season brings out the happiness and best in everyone, and reminds us to be extra thankful for the little things. With that in mind, I would like to give thanks for something that is very important to me in life, and that I probably wouldn’t be the same person without- Starbucks. 

            Coffee is one of those things that can either make or break your day. A quality cup of Joe in the morning (or anytime actually) can truly put you in a positive mindset and force you to be cheerful. Caffeine really is a miracle worker. And yeah, some people might argue that $4.01 for a skinny mocha with whip really is too much to be spending, but I guarantee it’s totally, completely, 100% worth it. Spending four dollars to preserve your sanity and be a generally better person is entirely reasonable. Look at it this way: Starbucks is pretty much like medication. Or drugs. But fortunately, you cant go to jail for consuming ungodly amounts of caramel syrup. So instead of spending big bucks trying to buy "legalized" pot from Colorado, spend your hard-earned drug money on a Starbucks frappe- they’re legal everywhere.

            I would also like to take the time to give a huge thank you to the very attractive male barista at my local Starbucks. Being extremely indecisive and never knowing what to order from the hundreds of choices, I usually just tell this saint of a man something along the lines of what I’m craving, and he orders for me. I’m happy to report that I have yet to be disappointed by his selections (probably because I’m too busy trying to memorize his face to really taste what I’m drinking). Either way, Barista-man, over the past six months that you have been serving me, I just want you to know that I really appreciate your input on my caffeine selections and have enjoyed the way our almost-nonexistent and mostly one-sided relationship has progressed. If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be sipping my boring caramel macchiatos and would never have known the sugary joys that I was missing out on. I also want to thank you for just being so goddamn beautiful every day I walk in, and looking so amazingly perfect in your coffee-stained green apron.

            If you have a nearby Starbucks and a hot barista in your life, you should probably thank your lucky stars and the coffee-gods above. And you should also maybe consider slipping the aforementioned barista your number. Thanks for everything, Starbucks. I love you a latte.

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