Rinse And Repeat

            Life obviously isn’t perfect, things rarely ever are. But sometimes it’s the little things that get to us, and make us wonder why the world is so against us. Like what the fuck did I ever do to you, world, to make you hate me so much?!

            The case in point in this situation is washing your hair. In reality, hair washing is the most basic of processes. You just squirt, lather, rinse, and repeat. Any druggie pothead could do it. And yeah, most don’t, but that’s a personal preference, and a completely different story. But back to the main point- washing your hair should be a pleasurable and sanitary activity, and shouldn’t really be giving anyone stress. But unfortunately it often has the potential to do so, usually in the most inconvenient of situations.

            You’re probably asking yourself, how could shampooing your hair possibly have enough goddamn power to ruin your day and give you anxiety? Either that or you’re wondering why you’re wasting your time reading this rather pointless blog when there are so many more useful ways you could be spending your time. But let me tell you, one of the most annoying things ever, and I do mean EVER is when your shampoo and conditioner run out at different times.

            Okay so I probably sound like a shallow bitch. Like how could I possibly care so much about my hair products usage when there are skinny children starving to death in Africa? But I’m just going to ask you to kindly not judge me until this situation happens to you. Put yourself in my shoes for a second: you’re standing in the shower, enjoying the nice hot water and lathering shampoo into your hair, when you reach for the conditioner bottle, only to find it completely empty.

            How does this happen?! I, like everyone else, use an equivalent ratio of shampoo to conditioner, so it just doesn’t seem logical that one should run out so much before the other. And after the shampoo is done with, it seems like the conditioner continues to mock me for days afterwards. Try as I might, I just can’t seem to finish it off quickly enough, and have to deal with it’s plastic bottle just sitting there on my shower rack jeering at me. Conditioner, you asshole.

If this has ever happened to you before, you have my deepest sympathies. How’s a hygienic person to survive? There’s nothing you can do, except to squirt, lather, rinse, and repeat. Life is tough.

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