But What Now?

            I have seen and experienced some pretty hilarious shit in my life so far, but I don’t think anything if funnier than hearing high school couples talk about how “in-love” they are. If you are in high school, reading this blog, and in a “serious relationship” with your significant other, I would suggest you stop reading this right now, or else prepare to be given a harsh dose of reality.

            I’m going to say this frankly: you two are not in love. You two are not soul mates. The chances of you two getting married are close to 0.0000000001%. It’s more likely for your man-candy to become a tutu-clad trapeze artist and join the goddamn circus that is for him to put a rock on your desperate finger. The reality is this: you two are just extremely infatuated with each other. Your crazy teenage hormones are all pumped up adrenaline, and are just looking for some excitement. They don’t really know what’s going on at all.

            As you all probably know, a relationship can start very quickly, sparked by the littlest things. Let’s use a hypothetical situation. You’re a freshman walking to your locker; it’s just another school day. Suddenly, you pass that new girl, Summer, in the hallway. Damn, she looks cute today. So you start noticing her more. And more. And more. You ask her for her number. A couple weeks later you ask her out, and she says yes! But what now?

            No pressure or anything, but this is the turning point of your whole fucking relationship. The fulcrum, if you will. You could simply go on to be just an average, happy, teen couple, or you could just as easily morph into the lovey-dovey, handholding, PDA performing, vomit inducing duo that everyone hates. Congratulations on losing all your friends and being entirely wrapped up in each other!

            Now it’s time for graduation, and you and Summer have to break up because she’s moving to Botswana to pursue her dream career of becoming a professional bowler. You look back and realize that you wasted the last four years of your life with a girl who will probably not get anywhere in life, and who you’ll most likely never see again. Because of your deep infatuation (NOT love) for each other, you never got to make any real connections with other people, and you are just now comprehending that you don’t really have any other friends.

            Fortunately, college is a new chapter for you and you have the opportunity to start over. So you go into your first day of college hoping to keep things light and branch out a little. You sit down in your first lecture and listen to the professor introduce yourself, when someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn around and see a pretty girl smiling down at you. Her nametag reads “Autumn”. You’re shit outta luck lover boy. Looks like you haven’t really moved on after all.

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