In the United States of America,
freedom of speech is assured to all Americans, and I strongly believe that this
is a basic human right. Every person should have the guarantee to be able to
say what he or she wants to say without fear of persecution. With that said, I
would like to discuss the issues that occur when people exercise their right to
say anything and everything whenever they please. Or as I like to call it,
“Shit I hear in the Hallway”
Like most teenagers, I go to a
public school. Like most teenagers, I spend a total of more than forty minutes
a day (in increments) in the school hallways. Unlike most teenagers, however, I
don’t completely zone out when walking from one class to the next. Try as I
might, I can never be totally deaf to the weird and wonderful things that
people inadvertently spew out to their friends in the halls. I catch snippets
everywhere. Needless to say, some things I hear fascinate me, but others… not
so much. For example, I really don’t need to be informed about your mom’s
latest bra-shopping trip. Or about Uncle Jimmy’s gigantic goiter. And please-
if I hear another story about Harry and Susan and their under-the-bleacher
adventures, I will slap someone. And that someone will be you.
To make everyone’s life more
bearable and beautiful, I have come up with a list of rules for what can and
cannot be said in high school hallways. Please take the time to memorize these,
since they will be in effect from October 1st, 2012 onwards:
1) NO in-depth descriptions involving: open-anything
surgeries, bloody injuries, pus-filled wounds, or gory battles scars. School is
painful enough without these tales- we don’t want to hear them
2) NO talking about food and/or baked goods before
lunchtime. We’re all hungry and it’s just not fair
3) NO political banter (unless you actually know what the
hell you’re talking about). If you don’t watch the news or know the candidates
for the election, stop talking. If you’re just trying to find an excuse to
argue, go join mock trial or something. If you actually do know the difference
between democrats and republicans, first explain it to me. And then please keep
your discussions to a minimum.
4) NO thorough evaluations about visual appearance. Nobody
gives a rat’s ass as to whether the cream eye shadow matches your shoelaces
better than the powder eye shadow. Sorry.
That’s all I got for now. Obviously
there will be more to come later, seeing as hallway stupidity is never-ending.
There’s no need to thank me for taking the time and effort to put this together
for all of you out in cyberspace. Don’t thank me. I’ll be fine. Really.
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Miss Bizzness, this is so true. I feel like I'm walking the same hallways as you are. People need to recognize the environment they are speaking in, and adjust their conversations accordingly.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very creative person. Have you considered writing for the Torch (if they still have that)? The "sub".
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Sharon!!:)
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