Teenagers are idiots; it’s a fact
of life. So it’s obvious that when you put about 2,000 of them into a public
school building for seven hours a day, five days a week, you will see the good,
bad, and ugly of every student… but mostly just the bad and ugly.
The number one problem in public
schools would have to be the couples. These would be students so infatuated
with each other that they think it’s okay to push each other against the
nearest locker and start playing tonsil hockey every passing time like their
lives depend on it. Okay, no. Not only is this a horribly uncomfortable
experience for anyone who is unfortunate enough to be the owner of the locker
that is being drooled on, but also it’s highly unsanitary. Especially during
flu season. Or any season, really. I honestly believe that high school is a
place to find your bridesmaids not your groom. Kindly leave your saliva in your
own mouth, thank you.
Coming in a close second are the
potheads. If you haven’t walked behind someone without catching a whiff of Mary
Jane sometime in your school career, you can’t call yourself a true public
school kid. Nothing is more comforting than knowing that there are people who
park in the same parking lot as you who’s brain cells are slowly but steadily
being destroyed by illegal substances. Not. Seriously though, if all you ever
want to do is smoke blunts and get high just stay home. Mommy will be so damn
proud. Everyone really just feels sorry for you. All your teachers know you
won’t be doing the homework they’re passing out. Basically you’re just a waste
of paper and space. Sorry not sorry.
Going
strong in third place are the bathroom bitches. The girls that seem to be in
front of the mirror every freaking time you go to the bathroom. Excuse me, but
I was under the (apparently faulty) impression that restrooms were created for
peeing… not to provide a makeup hangout. Girls, you are all gorgeous, flawless,
perfect human beings. Okay, maybe not, but still. You really don’t have to
re-apply your mascara during every passing time. Life will go on even if you don’t
pop that zit on your nose. And honestly, why do you care so much? Most of us
are really just at school to learn. Or because the law requires us to be here,
but still.
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